My head is all jumbled up.

I'm off to see the doctor on Thursday and I'm not looking forward to it, I know that because I'm going about my PCOS I'm likely to get a telling off.  I haven't been to see the consultant in about 5 years, I stopped going because it was a waste of my time, I went every 6 months to be told to lose weight. They didn't offer me any help, I was told eat low GI and to this day all I know about that is opt for wholemeal. I was only told to lose weight and that they could help me when I want to have children.  

At 15 I had no interest in having children and I was told that the lining of my womb is being destroyed and getting pregnant and carrying to full term wasn't likely to happen. I've just accepted that I won't have children because if it was in a bad shape then, what is it going to be like now? The only thing they did for me was put me on microgynon 30 to balance out my oestrogen to regulate my periods, I stopped taking it about 7 years ago, I couldn't be bothered with the hassle of having periods, I wasn't having sex and even when I did start having sex I wasn't going to get pregnant. When I stopped taking it I went 5 years without having a period and now I get one once a year, it lasts about a week so I can't complain about that.  

I know that at 21 I need to start taking control and caring about my PCOS but I know that whatever I do won't be good enough for them. It takes time and money to visit the consultant and I don't want to have to start going only for them to tell me to lose weight again without having them give me any help. I've tried doing it multiple times and I always fail, I need someone to tell me yes and no to which foods I can eat so that i have someone to argue with when they say no.  

Honestly I just don't know what to do and I need someone to hold my hand and tell me what to do.